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Can Virginia parents help their children cope with divorce?

The real tragedy in a Virginia divorce can often be the children, who are sometimes used as pawns by their parents during the process. A Virginia divorce can pull the support structure right out from under a vulnerable child. But, there are methods that parents can use to help their children deal with their divorce.

One of the first things a divorced parent should do is always tell their child the truth. This includes being honest about their feelings regarding their divorce. A child may also have strong feelings about their parent's separation. Hearing these similar feelings from one of their parents will make the child realize that what they are feeling is OK.

Parents should also refrain from bad mouthing their ex spouse in front of their child. That is because this behavior can confuse a child because he or she knows that they are an integral part of each parent's life. Bad mouthing by a parent can cause a child to believe that those feelings are really being directed at the child and not the other parent.

Divorce can make both the parent and the child emotionally needy, but a parent should never talk to their children about adult topics and about what is bothering them. This means that the child is providing emotional support to the parent. If a child, even an older child, is giving support to the parent, then the parent will not be able to provide support to the child, which is a primary parental responsibility.

Parents should also try to keep up a routine with their child and provide their child with extra love. Nonetheless, any Virginia resident who is considering getting a divorce may want to speak with a divorce attorney to understand just how this difficult process can affect their children.

Source:, "5 ways to help your kids thrive after a divorce," Nov. 22, 2015

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